Anger Management

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Anger Management

For this blog I’ve done a little research! It took all of five seconds but I’ve copied a bit from a description of the “Taurus Personality” (that is, yours truly):

Emotionally you are best described with the proverb “Beware of the anger of a patient man.” A volcano does not erupt immediately but builds up over the years, and then explodes. This is the Taurus personality on all levels; slow to begin, will not be rushed, can be lead but not pushed and then look out, whether it’s reaching a successful goal or getting angry.

If you are provoked, however, you can explode into violent outbursts of ferocious anger in which you seem to lose all self-control, like the bull seeing red. But you are more inclined to harmony, peace, and compromise with a strong dose of charm and graciousness. Again, don’t forget the inertia quality or the slow boil trait because if you keep trying to approach life emotionally with all kindness and generosity without a balance of reality you will be allowing resentments to slowly develop until you can no longer keep the lid on and off you will go seeing RED.

It’s taken years, but my wife has learned that if she allows my anger, like a short-lived volcano, run down the mountainside and cool down, then in a very short time she can approach me, remorseful, quiet and anger-free. Well, perhaps not anger-free (that usually goes away with her apology; my anger is very self-righteous and, deserved or not – usually not – her apology throws me into a childlike state of equilibrium).

I admit that I don’t sound too mature-sounding in the previous paragraph. All I can say is that having grown up with a very volatile mother who could scream and hit her son simultaneously without warning, I’ve turned out pretty well. Or my wife’s a saint. Maybe they’re both true.

I remember reading about the warrior mentality in the Bhagavad Gita where Lord Krishna counsels the mighty warrior Arjuna to do his duty and fight evil in the form of the army ranged against him but only from the state of Enlightenment. If you must fight, fight, Krishna says, but don’t do it from the state of anger but from compassionate Being, beyond all emotions.

Quite a lofty goal.

Christian scriptures talk about the importance of being “slow to anger”. Isn’t that what a Taurus is? Slow to anger and then… Watch Out!

The anger that I feel when I’m woken up at 12:45 am by my loud neighbours talking, laughing, shouting and partying on their balconies nearby (the balconies in my apartment building all face inward in an enclosed open area and sounds rebound and reverberate quite loudly into the bedroom); that anger does not come slowly, not even for a Taurus. When I realize that I’ve been woken from that lovely and beguiling dream I do see red. And forget about it – revenge fantasies do not fulfil, not in the least. I can shoot these thoughtless bozos, bazooka them, cut off their balconies, fly over to where they’re carrying on as if they’re alone in the world and, like Superman, scare the shit out of them, all in my mind’s eye, but I must still endure hours of wakefulness and, like the sensual Taurus that I am, I happen to enjoy and appreciate the physical state of being well-rested of which these people are thoughtlessly depriving me.

I guess that it serves me right for renting in an apartment building where there are a lot of students. Do they follow the building rule about having no parties? Er, no!

So, today, after being woken twice last night, at 12:45 am and again at 2:15 am, I find myself reflecting on anger and what I can learn from it, or not learn from it; perhaps I can learn how to transcend it. I don’t know.

These are my thoughts on a groggy Wednesday, nope, Thursday morning!

Peace!

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